3.3.17

a little clearer....


Today I was thinking about a friendship that for lack of a better word, I 'blew' up last year. Probably 25 years worth, here and there. I think I couldn't bear to watch this friend live out a choice she was making, a resigned one that seemed to come from a place of no action, or energy. And I guess I choose a subject which I knew would act as a trigger, to that end. I think I may have hoped that a new energy might somehow rise from that fire, there is a chance I may never know.

Yesterday I found and read this article 'from destruction comes creation'. I wanted to share it here. It's very well written. I can see the different phases at work in my life all at once. I like the line, 'and we sit on a fence and try to decide how not to destroy it. We bargain with god or ourselves and try to figure out how to glue it back together'. Don't we just.

And the question, 'when was it complete? and how long have you been trying to breath life into it?' we do know don't we, there are points when we recognize it's over.

Then to look for a new glimmer or spark to hold on to as you go through the destruction phase. That's so good. And the idea of giving the energy back to the universe in it's raw form to become your next creation. Clever.

I think there are phases to letting that happen though. They might involve learning new things, research, building up strength. Pausing, but still facing forwards. And yes perhaps acknowledgment that phase of life is over and change will have to happen. Unless you want to keep feeling like a cardboard cut out, who no longer wants to be doing what your doing.

I need to breath in a new direction. I'm looking for glimmers and sparks to see me through.

I found Aimee Eoff, through a podcast interview with Christine Mason Miller. I'll let you know a few podcasts I am listening to soon.  I'm enjoying them.

Have a good weekend.

♥    

2.3.17

right now...


Today, I notice I feel all in a quandary. The sun is out and skies are blue, yet I find that I am sheltering and distracting myself from the energy that is emerging, as though all directions are confusing and over-whelming.

To be lost in the midsts of so much that is good feels concerning. How do I go forwards from here. A few stories in the news pulled at my heart in a new way this morning, the tears fell as I witnessed anothers' struggle.

How do I unravel myself from all that is blessed and good in my life, in order to find the direction that feels simple and honouring.

How can I find my own authentic energy again?

Where am I underneath all these layers of old self?

Why am I not prepared to settle?

Can I let go of what I have now, in order to find something else?

What do I need to do/not do to find my way?

Perhaps I just need to notice and acknowledge this moment and try not to escape it in so many ways.

I am just going to be here, with this.

.....deep breath.

28.2.17

Spring (almost) making and cleaning

Pink and yellow tulips
Blue lagoon wristwarmers



I moved my desk to a new angle, so I can see out the window and in the room.

Crocus wool and new tiny bunting

 I like my new eco cloth.

A quick and easy lunch, mozzarella my new favourite
Tulips
Crocus wristwarmers. This wool is so lovely. I'm dreaming about it:-)
So nice to have a clean window screen
I took the car for a clean. That feels good.
Blogger has decided in it's ultimate wisdom to not to let me add any more text into this post, only captions!...so I will leave it just with  photos today and save the text for another day. I'm not going to stew about it being  screwy with me, I'm just going to move on. Hope your week is going well :-) ♥  


24.2.17

purple and green

I found this in the park today. What is it I wonder? it's beautiful.
Sunlight on a crocus patch, so nice.
On my desk. A little mouse cup. Not sure where it came from, it belonged to my Mum. I love it.
Out of focus rosemary. It smells good.
Moody skies on the day of Storm Doris and the entrance to our local nightclub. I've never been in, it looks kind of scary! I'd be more likely to go in the launderette, but thankfully I have a washing machine, so I don't go in there either ;-) 
Yarn bomb, not me...
pine trees and water drops
and a new wool, it's called Crocus, it's a hand dyed, luxury yarn (wow) and I love this too :-)
I've been taking my photos here and there, and I realise that although blogging does take a long time, I have to keep blogging. I always want to be taking photos and I need to have somewhere to share them. I'm very visual. I love words too. I don't think I could do one without the other. I also value story, even if I don't tell the whole thing here. I think you can read so much between the lines and feel so much in peoples images of life. Life moves on, that's for sure. I love to see a new energy or new step taken, showing through in someones work. You can feel it, things evolve. You just have to start somewhere. It's a process, love that. You have to be in it, to go anywhere!  First step.

And maybe blogging is kind of old-fashioned, but just wait for the revolution!! It will be a cool new/old thing....anyway, here I am. Still finding inspiration out there, which always amazes me at how what shows up is just the right thing, for right now. And if you keep going, you gradually work things out. Even things which have bugged you for years.

And inspiration, guess what, it doesn't go away. If you step into the flow of who you are and what your doing, even if no ones watching, it does show up, especially if you do. Even if you are in the midsts of a post Storm Doris day fence collapse, and you see a great shot, you have to take it. That's why you carry your camera, for just those moments, and who knows where it might lead.

I found another blogger recently, who I think has blogged for years, possibly since the beginning, not of time, but just since blogging on the internet began. I might have read somewhere it was around 1994. That is a really long time. On this blog, I find the combination of great photography, little stories, a business made up of lots of crochet and other creative works, really inspiring. Living in Berlin, adds a whole other dimension to the photography. I find it so strange that I never came across her work until now, but now is really when I can appreciate feeling that inspiration. And this lady works hard at what she does. I admire that. Anyway I have been reading and am smitten. You can see Sandra Jutos' blog here. Did you see the crochet?! I love that it brings me back to retro crochet too.

So, I have waffled here long enough today, have a good weekend. Take photos, make things, tell little stories, blog if you can. I know I hope to. See you soon.

♥ 



17.2.17

Bristol harbour on a Sunday and some thoughts.

I love this image of balance and touch.
Portishead Harbour
boat traffic signals
I wonder what it would be like to live on the harbourside?
Nice to have a yellow front door
I like watching the lifeboat go through their manoeuvers.
A hopeful February stand, outside the RNLI shop
An interesting beach here on the estuary when the tide goes out. Lots of pottery and glass.
All the old buildings have been converted into houses.
They do like their pastels here.
I took these a few weeks ago. It seemed a shame not to share. I do love a day out. Takes me out of my normal way of thinking. I must do more. I love exploring. I'm enjoying my camera again. I haven't taken a single shot on my phone hardly this year.

I think I'm re-connecting with myself again. I'm blogging, taking photos, making things. Listing on etsy. I'm really enjoying flickr. It's so nice to see pictures again in landscape and portrait, I find so much inspiration there. My ideas of what I want to to do are beginning to crystalize.

I'd like to say it's because I'm not going on instagram. But I think that would be giving it too much credit. I've been cutting out a lot of other distractions as well. I'm trying to maintain a focus, which I didn't have before, or if I did it was constantly diluted by everything else. Sometimes I think I am just being solitary, but deep down I know I need this to touch on something in myself.

There is still so much inspiration out there. It doesn't go away, because your not scrolling daily through feeds. It reaches you anyway, and in other ways. I think it strengthens your intention. Now I scroll through a little list in my head of things which I have decided I want to make/do/learn and decide what needs to happen next to move me towards that.

I feel like I'm starting to follow my own path. And I have to weigh that up as more important than knowing what's happening else where. The important stuff finds you anyway. That's what I think. Sometimes I just get a prompt to go somewhere and there is something I was glad I didn't miss.

So I think I need to trust that what I need and what inspires me is going to cross my path anyway, and there has been so much inspiration over the last few years, I feel like it's time to assimulate some of it.

Some life stuff happened here over the last week or so, which threatened to tip me off down a slippery slope. Just some sad things which happen in our lives now and again. Without my new found structure of daily stretching and clearer thinking, I think I would have toppled into a kind of crisis. But I'm happy to say that I was able to see the warning signs and adjust my thinking accordingly, and make some decisions to hold steady in what's right for me, and what I can do. We don't have to be heroes. We don't need to feel guilty about what we can't do. We just need to find that place where we can be okay in our selves and all that radiates out from that point. I read a good quote this week: 'draw in to be able to beam out your light more further', by Lindsay Mack on Alana Hellbig's Podcast, Untangled. I like that. 

So here we are at the weekend. I hope you do some nice things. I will be out another teenage 'airsoft' mission this Sunday. In a new place, yay! Well a new old place, nearer to the outskirts of London, where I am from. So I'll see what that brings. I've got some lovely new wool too, so it could be lots of crochet somewhere. I'm kind of hoping :-) Enjoy.

10.2.17

Bloom

I hope my little etsy shop will begin to bloom
I found some gorgeous blooming snow drops, the full and round and look at me kind. Not the usual shy and retiring kind.
My little dog is turning into a white haired snow drop herself. Me too  :-) oh and I might be full and round too, but not that kind of full and round. 

I'm re-creating my Etsy shop. A wine box and some chalk paint is helping with that, and a nice branch.

So far so good. I have a few more garlands in there, if anyone would like a look. And a 10% discount code LOVEFEB, to get the ball rolling, which lasts until 17.2.17.

I'm kind of excited...that is it now, my blinkers are on and it's straight on from here. She says with a big plug of her shop. Splosh! 


Have a good weekend.

♥ 

8.2.17

sunday coffee stop


Sunday: teenager playing airsoft in Bristol. I'm the driver. He needs the stress busting exercise. I need the self-imposed free time. To wander with the dog. Drink coffee here and there. Follow my thoughts and fall asleep in the car if I so fancy.

I found this place made of huge old containers from shipping, next to the harbourside. It was full of dogs and their peoples...I was happy I had followed my gut and walked the way I did. Who wants to leave their dog outside in the cold, when they could be lolling around on a rug in here...

There was a red suitcase on display....I'll remember to look inside it next time, maybe give it a little dust on top ;-)

I said no the gluten free cake because it had sugar in it and then I ate the fudge that came with the coffee, so I could have had the cake. I got toppled. I wished I'd eaten the date and cashew nut bar in my bag instead, but you know I am not perfect. My not perfect habits have changed a lot though.

Wishing you a happy Wednesday folks.

♥